This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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