should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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