I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
