Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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