thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
