I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize