I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
