do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
