quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A+ Viking dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
