Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
