so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
