Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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