you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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