if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
