Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
These tits shall not be calmed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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