As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
