So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
