Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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