Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
