Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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