there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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