That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
