I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
