if you like me you must not know who I am
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
