I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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