3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
