You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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