girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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