were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
