new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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