just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
