Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
