just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Someone signed my nipple.
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