CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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