so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
