how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God, I missed his penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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