My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
