I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
