she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to calm my uterus...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
