He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
