oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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