I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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