It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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