This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
