You smell like stripper and shame
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
