She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
