I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
