I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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