I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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