Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
