Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your cock deserves a montage
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
