I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
