My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
