that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
